Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
