Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
