Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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