I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
