your thong is hanging out like whoa
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
