im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
