just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
