Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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