Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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