In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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