I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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