the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
