We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
