I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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