is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
