every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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