Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
