thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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