Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
