We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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