Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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