my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
