very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
