the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
