'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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