WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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