He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
