It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
