i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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