She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
