that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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