Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
