Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Never let your siblings swipe right.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
