This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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