Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
