Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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