Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
