brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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