Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
