i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
