normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
