and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
