remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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