I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
