my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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