is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
