Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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