She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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