Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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