Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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