why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
