OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Randomize
