is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
