It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
