There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
